Track different parts of AX so any other POV that encounters part of axiom doesn't have causal discrepancies caused by revisions meddling (the one that Ellis/Sutap fought comes to mind)
Need to track xever/AX gryphon count yet again, and a loose end will be mentioning the nine gryphs that left and how much *tenacity* other gryphs have or something.
I'm losing axis' voice and it maybe wasn't that good to begin with.
Less of a focus on hunger than there should be. I think I have some seeds now, at least.
Obviously need to make the Faejacent scenes weirder/more hallowed.
It isn't clear why axe is seeking magic if it just wants to eat minds. I mean, it is obvious to me (more minds gained this way or deeper satiety or something) but it needs to be clear to the reader too.
I now need to kill off the peaceful Pilgrim Ellis/Sutap plotline. I should instead focus on how eerily calm things are, and track axis gryphons closely to make sure *that* isn't a plot hole now -- look to the first draft to see how I was doing it.
Honestly, there isn't anywhere near enough tension in the wild ygg anyway; it could stand to use a redraft itself.
Sutap could also lose a bit of faith via Ellis's prodding, which leads up to his next moment there.
The third incarnation of the voice should be wilder and more unpredictable. I *sort of* got like that in the beginning, but it needs more depth. And it seems to fall apart entirely when I'm trying to convey complex events. I need more of a solution there -- interjections maybe? Madness mixed in?
I'm also making AX way too relatable in axis scenes of interiority. Need to scale that way back.
The new AX is fine, it just needs minor fixes. Though there really should be more motivation too when axe starts to gain power.
