Engines Aether Legend of the Lunar Priest NIFE Roadmap
Shatterloop Game Projects Deprecated Starwright
Saepes Mundi Other Projects Blog  

Other Projects

Indryadine

Posted April 11, 2026 by Xhin

  • the new grove U encounters when Baylor is approaching should have twenty-six treefriends. Will make tracking harder so should so both items at once. Will mess a bit with "tripling his number".

  • There being a bunch of chimerines in the Rhizarium is a good herald of the Sprigging Queen's arrival.

  • Discrepancy: 27-AX is growing space without casters in the corners. I'm thinking all the Ashcairns are simply boosting axis power by this point, so clarify and clarify the previous section as well.

  • Again, I feel like the poem should be longer, describing the ritual in more depth -- blood of Spriggans joined and blood of Fae taken forcibly (J and K for example).

    • There are 11 Replies

    extensionEnable Post Pagination

    Big Problems that should probably be fixed first

  • It should really be implied that Xever wants to eventually merge with Myrddin. Compatible minds. In place in Valeska's POV but now needs more Xever foreshadowing. The second Tears' Son mention is the optimal place to do this because he's lamenting his own lack of fleshy immortality anyway. Good as a first mention that sets up what he's planning, then later on he explains his hesitation (maybe during his last X+a segment if it happens before the Valeska mention). Also should compile this with my isolated note about AX tapping into Xever's motivation (but not sharing his hesitation obviously).

  • The timeline of Z meeting C, C spying on Q, and G's plans needs to line up. And C making Z feel strong obviously. God, I don't want to touch 16-Z though. It's about perfect.

  • In 22-J and elsewhere, Kawan put indryadinity in himself -- how does that work exactly? Wouldn't he end up with less? Also in case I missed it, that also means that he didn't always have it and should indicate this accordingly. Maybe I should just take a section of Kawan to write that he acquired it somehow, and then his time mucking allowed for that. Probably a project realistically.

  • I think the Jadzia plotline has the potential to affect both Qadira and George (and could tie in more to the events of the honeyan ceremony if I play my cards right -- I like the idea that this plotline leads to AX joining with Amergin rather than him determining that MO is a bad choice). Also, the scene between Q and nect-father should have him arguing with her *again* because she'd opened with Jadzia magic.

  • Trim AX's plans. Axis voice is particularly hard to work with honestly, which might be part of the problem. Also some of axis sections aren't as clear as they could be.

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Batch Line Edits (do these last)

  • Laid/lied -- big problems here

  • "Had had"

  • Forward/forwards, downward/downwards / etc. Mostly just needs to be consistent.

  • Use "sprig" more frequently, particularly around Vastwood and the POVs that come from there.

  • Make sure Jadzia's timeline of walking to myrddin is consistent -- I've seen both "weeks" and "week" used.

  • "That that".

  • "is is", if it exists.

  • An earlier reference to queens might be good too -- not sure where to put it though. There is one for kings.

  • I don't like using both bandits and brigands. And I think both words are used elsewhere as well.

  • Inconsistent capitalization of "the" in things like The Ferritinium, The Sanguineum, The Boundless Tree, etc. Do a case sensitive search for The to find all instances.

  • More inswellian references (without meaning) past 14-U

  • Also I should be more economical with the word "sway" -- the climax one is too good for it to be diluted. Alternately I can reference Spriggan sway here and elsewhere.

  • There should always be references to Low Vastwood and High Vastwood with "Vastwood" being the group name.

  • Is it queens meet or queens' meet?

  • Think, Philipp, think" should really be reused later on.

  • Be careful when using the word "sky". It makes sense in some contexts, but tearsun usually makes more sense -- also there's ygg branches at the top always.

  • Consistent wording of "it" and "her" when referring to the Source Ygg, on a character by character basis. And obviously subject to change (Q and R come to mind)

  • Also think about how I can use the word "chopped" more frequently in useful AX-adjacent ways. And stop using it elsewhere too.

  • In 17-V, "make preparations" doesnt imply attacks. The next paragraph does, but make sure this is more clear (also the exact wording comes up several times afterwards I'm pretty sure so be careful). "Attack or make preparations" works.

  • Philipp was a captain in the queens' revolt (and a young one!) not a commander.

  • Should 20-U use "caretaker" or "lesher"?

  • Also, it should be "The Rhizarium" with both words capitalized. Same deal with The Ferritinium, The Sanguineum, etc.

  • Factions of House Spriggan should always be referred to as "rooms". It's a silly pun and I love it.

  • Also check instances of "rule" and "ruler" and replace them with "chief" where appropriate.

  • Do a search for second person pronouns outside of dialogue

  • Replace "soldier" with "clannin".

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Tracking / double-checking

  • Color significance like the rest of my books. 11-N has pink and blue lights. Could do some foreshadowing for the stuff that'll happen here later on if I play my cards right.

  • It feels like it takes Kawan and Nonaxe longer to get to the tears-tree ygg than any other group, but maybe I'm imagining it.

  • Keep track of the number of treefriends under Unsaw too.

  • Make sure the rain (and later turning-into-darkness and pure darkness) is consistent. And when it starts to get light again too (and why).

  • Make sure the timeline of the Brewer's Revolt lines up with all of the vague mentions towards it.

  • Same deal with the queens' revolt. Search for Asani too.

  • I do love how the Source Ygg is both the world-tree and its root -- I just want to make sure this is consistent throughout.

  • Does Myrddin know that Barrett is the Underboss? Or Olivia? Maybe the courier network added the missing information.

  • Keep track of the amount of men and dashgryphs Francis has (also thirty in 18-F's wording is suggesting there are 31 total). This is actually ideal since there's 31 chapters.

  • I'm not sure what the ancient war was, and it's okay if this book never does, but it should still be *consistent*.

  • Make sure 22-AX does in fact have four successes and three failures.

  • 26-Pn should say how many branches are left to explore.

  • Make sure that Lionel thinks there's 10 rooms of House Spriggan (including his own)

  • Make sure each ending POV references the next. Outside of Ellis -- that one's a plot twist.

  • Make sure Valeska's movements make sense -- she's basically going back and forth between her throne room and Ashnode, but there might be more discrepancies there than just the first one. Probably fixed after her revamp.

  • Make sure there are in fact 16 life-branches implicated in AX (Winifred and Yusrah are also involved because of the Orlovs if nothing else).

  • Say Olivia's words out loud and time them.

  • Make sure there were no Diviciacus segments prior to Francis matching face to name. Or just change his segments if there were.

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Terminology

  • Ygg trees, ygg branches, etc. I'm thinking yggfloori and yggceili. Canopy definitely works too, plus I can look up related words for a complex of visible roots.

  • More plant parts -- "wood" and "branches" are *particularly* excessive.

  • I feel like Deema should be introduced as a "lesher", but that will complicate other references to caretakers, so this is a bigger fix. Probably fine now that there's another lesher reference.

  • Another 10-X thing: I don't think "fae blood used up" is right but "fae magic" doesn't feel right either. Looks like two mentions here and possibly more beyond.

  • 11-M is using weird terms again. "Fae magic" and "Fae-calling". Needs to be consistent with the stuff mentioned to Philipp and anything Valeska thinks to mention.

  • 12-Z is using "ygg's branches". I really need better terms for all of these.

  • 14-M is using "ygg branch". Again, need to clearly define these terms.

  • Also while I'm on the subject, these queen/king areas should be named. Kingsroom I think I used at one point. The table too.

  • In 14-C, cuyler would know the commander's name, which should be mentioned everywhere he makes an appearance. Go mythological again.

  • Zoelle's commander (who) will be named, not her "head general" (18-Z discrepancy)

  • I'm using the word "totality" in several interesting ways. Just an observation.

  • I feel like the pronoun "axer" instead of "axim" fits better in some ways.

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Description

  • Myrddin intro description still needs work.

  • Rainshade's description when it's out in the distance should be consistent -- arches and spires aren't mentioned again for example. Also I'm guessing the twin ash trees would be a big part of the skyline (and is plot relevant, and super cool from a thematic perspective)

  • Description reminders -- another big problem.

  • Descriptions, particularly the outside of Faeheim. Big problem here.

  • moss fields in Rainshade break falls (leshers, jousters), so make sure that's clear in its descriptions.

  • needs to be clear elsewhere that a lot of the city is underground -- there's the leshian cavern and Ferritinium obviously, but more is needed.

  • There should be description of a leshian somewhere -- I do like the intentional vagueness but there needs to be *something* there.

  • The size of Ryden's Leandro is pretty nuts too in the description.

  • Also make sure that the Primordial Ashnode works the same way as the others when Valeska enters it, and looks the same as well.

  • The Ashgrove should still provide some illumination during the patches of dark -- it's great foreshadowing too.

  • Make sure that it's obvious that the staircase of the tears-tree is carved into wood when KIN goes there.

  • Something early on should mention the twin (cut) ash trees and the glowing blossoms coming out of one of them. Maybe Jadzia's first vignette with Rainshade.

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Rewrites / Pacing

  • 7-O needs to be longer. Same deal with my action scenes in general -- F&S did this right.

  • Make 8-K more emotional. Should probably just apply this to interior scenes in general, unless it's something like Barrett thinking.

  • 10-H seems to be too short.

  • Feels like 10-B should be longer too.

  • "Dreams of trees" seems like it could be thematic or foreshadowing. Same deal with Nonaxe's entire dream sequence. I reworded this now, so it refers to the scene where she opens her eyes but they're already open.

  • If Kawan had planted indryadinity within himself, then 12-K should reference that. I do like the idea of making this a more emotional scene anyway. Also that second to last paragraph might not be optimal.

  • 12-U's ending is a little too on the nose -- I want to do a red herring here of Unsaw capturing Deema rather than killing her. Putting something in Deema's POV about that would help as well.

  • 12-Y should dip into her POV a bit. Might be a problem with other POV intros as well

  • 13-F is contradictory to Francis thinking George had staged Thelma's capture.

  • 14-T is *vitally* important but I've executed it poorly.

  • 17-Z and 17-C feel too short. I also don't like Zoelle admitting that she's vindictive. Note that Cuyler can't successfully kiss Zoelle until 23-C.

  • The second 17-QR should follow from the topics of the first one.

  • Myrddin's arc in 18/19-MP needs some work I think.

  • 21-K (and possibly 21-N and maybe even 21-J and 21-R) is written *horrendously* -- future events told via past events is mucking up the tenses horribly. Whenever this is done, make sure that Kawan senses the Source Ygg prayer in the same way that Inhatcheta did.

  • It isn't clear what Nonaxe wants to do in 23-N and this should be echoed in 23-R and later Nonaxe segments.

  • 26c-T needs some interiority.

  • The ending to whatever the fuck the middle of 28 is called needs to be longer -- much like the Olivia scene there just isn't enough tension here, or triumph with magic either. Breaking up this section with "life-tree-thought said" would both establish wtf is happening *and* would allow Naggirps to try to move things. This also gives me an opportunity to expand the scene and get the tension of both to go to unbearable levels (AX would probably be close to freeing it for example).

  • 29-P is kinda ruining the pacing too, and it's more suitable for the ending. Honestly, it's fine. Having some climbing-down action that correlates with what Philipp is thinking about will keep the pace intact.

  • 29-Q needs more. Qadira does too, of course. I'm thinking the Jadzia plotline change will help a lot.

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Uncatted Misc

  • X's desire to merge his consciousness with his tears' son's mind seems like a *perfect* tool for AX to use in order to start his conquest. It fits together perfectly with everything. AX instead figures out how to transfer to new bodies, while Xever is doing the actual regular stuff.

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Questionable Worldbuilding

  • I'm thinking some compound in ribes Sanguineum keeps blood from coagulating. Should probably do some research here. It's the fruit evidently, so make sure all mentions of blood in Fae rituals are blue.

  • How does the Ferritinium chimera live there if it is lit by blossoms? Although I do know that Spriggans used to live in the ash above. Hmm. Also if they're made from cyclores, that makes their lore a bit more complex.

  • What else could the scepter call possibly be besides Xever? The Fae coming back I guess. 16-V is a bit weird here. Also Philipp mentions it at one point unless I've edited it. Just do a general Ctrl+F for "scepter" and "sceptre".

  • Clarify the AX is a weapon thing -- true enough, and doesn't matter too much, but chimeras are also linked to cyclores so hint at that connection. De-emphasize the creation aspect in favor of the naturalistic aspect as well. Makes them more mysterious and sets up book #3 better.

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Plans

  • Myrddin's plan against the boundless tree needs work.

  • I'm thinking Francis groomed George rather than the other way around. Should plant a clue to this in 9-G.

  • Make sure I'm handling Francis's overarching plan well. I think I am but I want to make sure

  • In 15-F explain *why* Francis needs the respect of the kings for his plan to work. Again, without fully stating what that plan is.

  • I don't think all of 17-G's plans actually go through. Change it to the ones he *does* do (that could be reasonably foreseen), or alter his actions later. Or make him question the utility of these plans. They need to just not be holes.

  • Does 17-F's plan actually go through here or elsewhere?

  • Also while I'm on the subject, how is George actually supporting sovereignty? Be careful here and make sure he's playing *some* kind of active role. If it's subtle, dip into interiority.

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Subtle stuff for Late Editing

  • "Kawan tied the last knot" -- perfect opportunity to hint at the sprawling tree of the story itself.

  • I also like the idea of comparing AX's spread to one. And Xever'a gryphons to a lesser extent. Everything is a tree indeed.

  • More foreshadowing of the main plotline, *particularly* the messages aspect of it. And AX too I suppose.

  • AX ate all the plotlines like a vine. I should make some reference to this somewhere.

  • Some kind of tongue-in-cheek reference to the rush song would be great. A chapter with NIU makes the most sense, and some line about equality or whatever.

  • If the ashes turn yellow in 26-Q, then I should make a reference to yellow ash trees (bonewoods). Actually this works better in Valeska's POV because she's in the crypts of Faeheim.

  • I think there should actually be some reference to Ryden's father during the first swell sequence. Very very subtle, and important to book #2. Looks like the best seed are Ryden's twin knives, which were held in hands of opposing blood at the peak of the swell -- I need a subtle reference when he pulls these out later, and/or during his "my family believes in myths but I don't" sequence, and then some mention of them during the ending too. Zoelle is already giving a very subtle clue here with "reach back into that swell you shared with Jadzia". He had the knives on him while fighting the first chimera, so they may have ended up with Qadira and Thelma, or BYSELF. Maybe both! It ending up on Francis's men makes the most sense actually because of the three three three and the Hayden nine-knife thing.

  • Make sure I'm using Valeska's (and likely Xever's) words accurately

  • I really like the coincidence that the life-tree chapter is 26 and there's all these references to the number throughout. Maybe Valeska could be one too -- K has a reference to her (though I think that section is getting redone). It's also the gematric number! I can also do some reference to it in the Ferritinium -- it's the element number for iron. Theres also 26 sporadic groups, I'm sure I can find a reference to add there. Maybe Ellis is 26. With some tweaking the source Ygg message could be 26 characters. Or messages 26 words. Or 26 word intros to each branch -- might be too tricky though.

  • Needs research, but Xiuhtecuhtli has a yellow fire aspect. Iirc Cipactli comes from the same mythological tradition. Ixcozauhqui means yellow directly, so a better choice. Not sure where to put this -- maybe the og swell-son. Having another reference in Deema would be particularly interesting as well (and it actually fits there). There's a 52 year renewal cycle associated with him as well, which is fitting given the 26/52 thing (and the likely number of POVs of book #2, or just #1 + #2 if I'm not completely insane (I am, though)).

    • May 31, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Name Reskinning

  • Eshu is a great renaming of Ellis -- has the trickster aspect of it *and* foreshadows his connection with the source Ygg at the end. Also colors that are red and black -- the first one fits perfectly with his heritage. Hats, clothing, skin color, etc should match in Valeska's description.

  • Tanzeela or Taaqul for Thelma -- Taaqul is more convenient for merged mind sections because of both Taaqadira and Qadiraaqul. Careful with the "Thelly" nickname here.

  • Maybe Jasira for Jadzia.

  • *Definitely* Dyani for Deema.

  • I particularly like Hackett for Hayden.

  • I like the idea of renaming the spider and drakona too. Maybe the bees. In the spider's case, there's a mention of hyphantrian silk later on, and there should really be more references.

    • June 23, 2026
    Edit
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Reply to: Indryadine

    Username
    Password