Make a central checklist of every single character (alphabetical!) and anything that applies to all of them that isn't pacing/emotion/voice.
A character plan goes: arcs, then low-level motivation, then emotion, followed by pacing, followed by voice. One pass for each. Need to look at other vignettes where they're present too, and map these out beforehand in life-tree notation.
Fix Aety, Nonaxe, Xever and Hayden.
Do Axetheevery according to my notes here and the improved Aety/Xever/Hayden.
Then do Naggirps -- same deal here, drawing off both Aety and Nonaxe and whatever my notes are.
Do Myrddin and Olivia next -- they're linked heavily, there's the OM tree to consider, and I have leftover notes.
Qadira and Ryden and then Qadiryden.
Do anyone else with specific notes (F and Y at the moment).
Then everyone else. Alphabetically would be fun.
Draft 3.5
I *definitely* need a myth draft (Draft 3.5) where I look up every single worldbuilding and mythological term to hammer out all the influences. Anything accidental should instead be purposeful, or changed if I have to. Also Lore stuff like the legendary chimerine.
Draft 4
I'd want to look at the pacing of the book as a whole and the opening tones. The moment of Qadira watching AX spread across the city right after Cuyler's strong moment is a good example of an ideal vignette tone shift. Same deal with the one between Ryden turning around and AX being hungry again. And the way I fixed 10 -- tone-matching sequential vignettes.
Figuring out all the chapter titles and reinforcing them (somehow) in the text itself.
Just minor line edits, word repetition and proofreading past that point. I have a set of batch notes too.
And trying to somehow reach 126901 or 126090 or 26*52*90 or whatever. I like the references being *directly* in the word count, and boy am I close (127083 as of August 15th). Only a couple hundred words off past the completion of the siblings project, but that might change over time. 127707 as of August 29th so yeah it's going up. There are probably things I can cut during draft #4 though -- tightening up language and whatnot too. Also the AX fix on draft #3 will probably help a lot. Make sure dinkuses aren't contributing to word count before I make my final set of fixes.
Fleurons and the fleuron poem. The book cover too, and formatting. I like the idea of chapter 30's fleuron being unusually big and split in twine too. No, mirrored is *way* better. But done in such a way that they're two halves of a whole. Also a fractal fleuron at the very end. I quite like the idea of turning Ellis's last line (changed) *onto it -- "A tree aware of a tree aware of" and then turning that *into* a fractal fleuron. And all of that inside quotes with the reiterated line by Ellis at the end. Also stick the fleuron numbers in a circle or something. Actually the quotes are unnecessary -- it makes the letter thing more subtle and I like the idea of not closing the quote. Dipping into relevant traditions for fleurons makes a certain amount of sense -- the stair-stepped spirals in Aztec mythology for example. Fits in very well with the tears-tree. Putting the Pholus astrological symbol in there somewhere makes a certain amount of sense -- maybe the "through boundaries" chapter. Mirror the fleuron when a life-branch moves, in whichever way is obviously a mirror (vertically presumably). The thorn rune where relevant -- also it would be very easy to pair thorn and pholus.
Alter Myrddin and Olivia's vignettes right before the Rhizarium to (very subtly) foreshadow these events. And I guess merge them too into whatever they were thinking about before (Dilan and family respectively, iirc). Myrddin being exceptionally good at riding gryphons comes to mind. Also add a touch of dramatic irony -- their plans after they do this (which they can't do as the plot twist kills them). Maintain Myrddin's Vastwood-spire reference if possible or migrate it into his other vignettes if not. Also not a huge deal -- Barrett and Sutap have their own.
And I don't like that they're going to Olivia's family's side of the world with that plot thread just being dropped when Aety becomes a Spriggan. Probably just needs more interiority on a third pass of MOAB. Or I could drop it if that doesn't work out -- it's only one sentence said by Myrddin, after all.
Olivia needs an arc about being more than just a pretty face, which gives her motivation to go to Vastwood.
Both of these arcs should play some kind of role during MOAB. Yes, they still end up dying.
Yusrah/Francis/Fifi
Fidela had chiefed both the Spriggan Ash and Fae Ash, she must've been intimately connected to Bodhmall and the queens' revolt. I know Philipp was too. Fifi does need more work.
De-emphasize the need for violence in Francis's last vignette, and since Bodhmall committed it, lean *more* in that direction with the last Yusrah before F dies. Obviously I don't want her to be *too* close to it, but be more permissable.
Possible discrepancies with Yusrah/Fidela's ages. Yes, all ages are ambiguous by design but if they served under bodhmall they'd probably need very long lifespans -- this works for Philipp and Fidela but not so much for Yusrah, who doesn't have Fae blood. Furthermore, Francis has the same problem potentially -- I know he's younger than Yusrah but I don't know by how much.
While I'm on the subject, Yusrah's last POV is incredibly awkward, and does "as a girl" make sense if she was part of the queens revolt? Also make sure Francis's big vignette is consistent with Yusrah's backstory too.
I'm thinking Francis groomed George rather than the other way around. Should plant a clue to this in 9-G. And alter his POV some more.
My thinking with Francis is that he looks largely Machiavellian like George but details in F or Y interiority start to accumilate, eventually leading to the way he feels about the chiefs of Rainshade prior to MOAB.
Francis's gryphon tugging vignette starts rough and is too long. Should really break it up, along with Yusrah's -- she is *severely* lacking in personality in the Vastwood events. Definitely a note for draft #3 -- there's already stuff there.
Consistent gryphon pronouns. Going to be different from character to character -- Kawan and chimerines and probably Ellis are going to use the right one. Not Jadzia nor Ryden nor Myrddin.
Consistent gendered pronouns (or it) with leshians too. I feel like this one is going to change when they start getting close to Nonaxe. Chimerines obviously follow different rules.
Interior scenes that aren't logic based (like Barrett thinking) should be more emotional. ***Deeper***. 8-K and 26a-N come to mind.
7-O needs to be longer. Same deal with my action scenes in general -- F&S did this right.
Consistent wording of "it" and "her" when referring to the Source Ygg, on a character by character basis. And obviously subject to change (Q and R come to mind).
George needs more interiority around small actions and events, particularly early on. I made one small change here in his intro and it's great stuff.
Ellis needs to crack more jokes with Sutap and whatnot. Maybe not.
I feel like *all* of MO's transit vignettes should serve a purpose (beyond Nonaxe using them).
Qadira continues to be weak. Precision (like Tom) is what I'm leaning towards here). Honor makes a certain amount of sense too -- Ryden hints that their friendship isn't as strong because of how she is here, and Cuyler calls her bossy.
And, on a similar note, I need to make sure Thelma's arc (and subsequent heel-turn) makes sense. It sure didn't when I was writing it. Also, 26c-T will need some interiority, as will other sections more than likely.
Hayden needs more characterization when he's in the fae world I think -- just enough here to make his actions more clear.
Some of the character deaths arent affecting characters close to them as much as they would -- Lionel to Ellis and Winifred to Yusrah for example. Also Ellis is no longer aware of Lionel's death until he becomes a brother, and he is pretty distracted at that point. Needs to be looked into though.
All POV intros should have interiority, particularly Yusrah's.
Sutap might need a rewritten ending since he covered similar topics in the tears-tree. That second to last paragraph is *still* goddamned awful too. I think I did finally fix it.
Qadiryden needs to be a mix of Qadira and Ryden once I get their voices straightened out. Best strategy is to write each sentence from both and see how to merge them.
And, Naggirps needs POV-join voice work too, once Aety an Nonaxe have crystallized.
inhatcheta needs more interity I think, to smooth out the tezcatlipoca flashback. Could mention Unsaw as well, or her moving the tearsun. There is a good inswellian hook. Be careful though, I want 21 to be the tearsun reveal. Alternately, this could be the means by which kawan understands how it works in 21, so smoothing in Inhatcheta could provide for that.
Jarring tone shift in Unsaw when Inhatcheta becomes a tree. More interiority would work best. Could also delay until draft #4.
The new Baylor thoughts in Ryden + the new Rosamund are hinting towards what kind of character Ryden should be, to contrast him better with Myrddin and Barrett.
Forward/forwards, downward/downwards / etc. Mostly just needs to be consistent.
"That that".
"is is", if it exists.
Inconsistent capitalization of "the" in things like The Ferritinium, The Rhizarium, The Sanguineum, The Boundless Tree, etc. Do a case sensitive search for The to find all instances.
Do a search for second person pronouns outside of dialogue
Oh and watch for capitalization of words after dialogue with ? Or !. I doubt it'll be a problem these days, but you never know.
Mass punctuation errors when quote marks follow an em dash. Likely the other way around too.
Make sure all uses of "literally" are grammatically correct; I shouldn't just be using it for emphasis.
Make sure "stair" is used in the grammatically-correct way too, not the way I was using it in bCoD.
"That" and "who".
Make sure I'm using "egregious" correctly -- pretty sure I'm not and the mistake is egregious.
Semicolon usage or nonusage
Italics might be a bit much overall. Gotta keep all the ones in Zoelle's POV though, if not add more.
Triple spaces, punctuation missing a space afterwards, etc.
Spriggan / Spriggans pluralization problem
Make sure there's no errant fifty-four.
Afterward/afterwards. Maybe just best to look up "Ward" in draft #4, as annoying as that would be.
Double-check leshians/leshyans again, and potential capitalization issues.
Thirty seven rivers flow Nine knives into ten gates go Two and fifty fires burn Ten keys locking nine realms turn
Four from here and six in all / six this kind While three are under jotnor thrall / three by jotnar are confined But thrice the rose and twinned the frog Eleventh hronir analogue
379052904633211
910 is still better because there *are* a couple 17 references -- look into the math and see why. Iirc it's just (52-1)/3 , but I feel like there's another one somewhere too. 19 might be involved somehow too. 17 is the 8-21-2017 thing. 15 is better though, that's 52-37.
(Copy into book #2 once complete here; might be something a Fae says. I'm sure it'll get memorized though.)
If possible, line "nine knives" up with one of Hayden's mentions of it. Thirty seven might work better -- the plot sort of takes off at that point. Depends greatly on how I'm laying this out though.
I definitely want to mirror 1-J of book 1 in Rosamund's opening. I think the scrawny kid is helping her too. The Eldprince stuff is cool.
Spriggans always float.
the thirty-seven rivers connection -- helheim *is* involved somehow, and both references in the book are related (the hronir in Francis's case and Baylor's death in Unsaw's)
Faeins *and* Spriggan-descended are in Druidia for some reason but it was ruled by Spriggan-descended during the Rainshade war there for some reason.
Druidia has a Silicolony, which produces either sand or glass. I'm thinking it's extracted from reeds which are a bioaccumulator, and this does tie in well to the aztec 52 god. And everything around mirrors too. Obviously the fixed cyclore would play a role too.
Incidentally, the myth of Amergin has something to do with the sea (as does George's Roth Ramach), so this would play a role in the grand dendrotelma (dendrothalassa?)
Theres an Egyptian entity called Ash or Yuc (an isomorph of Set). *Probably* a good idea to include here given the ankh and its lion or snake head. Interesting connections to the set animal and Typhon (who looks like a true chimera in some sources). Some links there to the Lernaean Hydra. Well apparently Tychon is *literally* the father of the chimera -- flawless then. Which could also be written as chimaera or chimæra, going full circle. Links to the Caucasian eagle and the Oceanid Electra (oceanids are definitely important to Melia and Aldheim). He was also burned to ashes and sent to Tartarus (either helheim or the void/jotunheim depending on what exactly I'm doing -- helheim does make the most sense). Sometimes considered to be one of the giants, which fits into jotuns as well. Anyway, definitely something *highly* worth exploring. Possible Yuc/Yucca ties.
The void cut Ryden's hand and so has the hrönir. Feel like this will be important later on.
Platypodes and their mythology. They conveniently nest near reeds, so they'd be near the Silicolony. Amusingly, they could be half duck and half beaver (or whatever works best).
Taking the whale interpretation of "hron" seems like it would be useful either here or in book #3. Though I do also like the Hœnir angle -- maybe he rides a whale there or something? A whale in this world would be half cow and half fish. Maybe half yak and half shark if I want to keep the halving animals separate. I do like the idea of remixing existing ones, though.
Ships should maybe be made from ceiba trees -- I also like the idea that the *kind* of ygg tree changes from region to region. Maybe it's a ceiba instead over in Druidia. Also these would be called pochotls instead to both fit into book #1 better and because everything in Druidia is heavily tied into Aztec mythology.
Norrnigan is an interesting mashup of Morrigan and Norns.
Helheim should be heavily associated with thorns, and jotnar too of course (already indicated in the fleuron poem, and there's the thorn-giant link there). Hexagons too. Maybe just whatever the world-tree entrance is.
Interestingly, there's a 52 aspect with the morrigan too (the 26 sons and 26 daughters). Make a note in the book #2 thread to keep this in mind. I'm also thinking that Rosamund is descended from her, and Melia+morrigan=Pholus, which explains a lot of the lore around fae not taking bonds of love / the whole hangup with Zoelle. That would make Zoelle's descendents derived from her, Cuyler and morrigan simultaneously, which just makes way too much sense. And Pholus being related to the morrigan explains a lot of what that fae's line is capable of.
As much as I don't want to plan book #2 out before I write it, having members of life-trees become the Source Ygg when they die while everyone else goes to a jotnar-controlled helheim makes way too much sense. And Baylor's POVs slowly gaining letters as more fires in book #2 are lit makes a lot of sense too. R conveniently also exists, and B obviously would since he's B himself, so that first vignette would make a lot of sense out of the gate.
I do also like the idea of the first life-tree's POVs getting used instead of (or in addition to) anyone they share a letter with occasionally -- this allows the phloempsing plotline to come to the surface and things that are happening for the lingering eleven too. This book is *definitely* connected to the number 52 so it fits if the first 26 get POVs sometimes.
The fleuron poem is a lot more relevant to book #2 (and even #3) so if the fleuron thing ends up being too difficult to implement I can just move it there. It also does seem like something a Fae would say. Though I could still incorporate bits of it in the book cover.
Numbering chapters like they're a continuation of book #1 makes a lot of sense -- would be able to hit 37 and 52 this way, and maybe some other useful ones. It also simplifies the hell out of chapter notation since nothing is replicated across books.
