How did Philipp and Fidela get to Rainshade? Did they climb there? Did Nonaxe rescue them? There are hooks for both.
More reminders that Zoelle teases Cuyler, particularly right before Cuyler's strong moment.
The revelation that the source Ygg is worth believing in comes from both Q and R so it should affect Q more than it is (maybe around her message)
I feel like the Barrett/Qadira prose mirror needs to be stronger in a similar to the Qadira/Kawan one, or the two Nonaxe/Unsaw ones. This is the "even more chaotic" thing of Barrett seeing the Faeheim spies leave and Qadira meeting with Rosamund. It looks like there's a Jadzia one too with the exact same phrase -- look into it.
How does Barrett know the stuff that happened at the Ashcroft house is Fae magic? If there's no good explanation for that, have Lionel point it out because of the green color. Or mention it earlier in Barrett's vignettes -- should be plenty of hooks for that.
Finally something that made sense" might be a plot hole now because of the Francis edit. Check the first draft's F vignettes for clues and possibly a fix.
When Thelma announces her plans, wouldn't the other cooks also be loose ends for George? Pulling him out of earshot of all but George might work. But then.. why would she need to? Should be reasonably fixable at least.
Plant several red herrings around "gray ax" so it's less obvious. Maybe AX sees something gray, or there's something adjacent to Unsaw or even another POV entirely. Something in 24 past 24-N, though, obviously.
Obviously, 25-C is important, but Ryden announces his faith to the source Ygg out of nowhere. There should be more buildup to it (also isn't he pretending to be Spriggan-sent?)
Obviously, Zoelle and Cuyler need to know that they'll be trading gryphons with Sutap and Ellis. I don't remember if Ryden said that or not.
Naggirps' thought on Valeska barrier (and her magic barrier) is wrong.
If Naggirps doesn't explore all seven branches again, then change it to "they *could* explore them again', not "they would'.
The thick trunk that was like no other place she knew -- well besides the Ash Grove of course.
In the Nonaxe life-tree vignettes, say that each set of seven is sprouting from the trunk.
Hayden should maybe figure out that the friendly mind *is* the abomination. This isn't the first time he's allied himself with enemies, which reinforces or foreshadows or directly states the boundless tree and Lionel connection. This could even be a motivation for moving elsewhere in the fae world -- *something* has given the abomination enormous strength of mind.
Thelma didn't see her city change color, though she did see a lot of red.
The best strategy to fix the swells problem is to have Ryden/Jadzia's room still be in need of pruning -- just not as bad as the peak.
Same deal with the swell that Kawan brings to Faeheim later -- there should still be plant growth everywhere. Just not as bad as the swell at its peak.
Plot hole: and had retained her Primordial Ashnode for that exact reason. So, he led with that. Harder to fix too because it comes up when Valeska is angry.
The last Cairn's Council vignette should egregiously use "sir" too.
Why was Zoelle spying on Qadira? Just needs an explanation somewhere. I'm thinking it's unrelated to George -- the eyes *are* the biggest importer of Zoelle's weapons. But this might screw up all that early foreshadowing (though then again it's long-game foreshadowing for Thelma thinking that Zoelle is a spy).
Fix the ambiguity around where leshians come from -- Nonaxe thinking Kawan used to be a plant just needs correction so it doesn't relate to the next sentence, and the first Unsaw vignette where the men think the swell will turn them into leshians needs clarity that this is exaggeration or whatever.
Similarly, in the Inhatcheta-tezcatl sequence, have a brief mention that leshian seeds come from fathers and mothers.
All viewings of the Faeins across the wild ygg (JR and also FY) should indicate that they're female. Possibly Barrett as well.
She could do as she liked -- a mirror to Jadzia talking about robbans.
In Ellis's vignette where he explains his dryadic nature, mention the roots in his feet.
Does Myrddin know Lord hackett was the boundless tree's chieftain? I want to say yes, I feel like I've tracked this before. Feels like "hopefully his men weren't missed" is a plot hole if so.
Both the boundless tree and the life-tree should also be referred to as sprawling. And the world itself, before it's clear that it's a world-tree. And also Sutap's idea about how men are connected together.
"Eleven lingering threads" might be a better title for chapter 31. Helps with the eleven hronir too. This would end up being better when Francis has 31 men (or whatever that hook was). "Thread" is a *much* more flexible word.
Cuyler's interiority around the void does need to point out that her role has always been to be supportive, and something there is what makes her do sister things at last. Best opportunity is right after her saying that the others didn't care. If I cant do it here, delay until draft #3.
"Place and meaning" is a mirror to Jadzia and Ryden recovering from the swell when words have meaning again, or maybe when it's lost, which would also mirror the QT joining. Look into it.
Kawan feeling the swell-son filling his mind with knowledge is a mirror to Ryden experiencing similar. And maybe not a meaningful one
Nonaxe should say that the life-banches are loose instead of Ellis -- that cleans his passage up, and probably hers too.
I think I should rename them leshyans -- closer to the source material and less close to lesbian, so maybe I'll quit getting autocorrected.
Use the word "balance" around mentions of griffins making phloemed (faed? I forget the new terminology) branches shrink back. And same deal with deema's blood. In both cases it's an indryadine+chimeric interaction, which wouldn't make sense otherwise. Presumably there would also be a dryadic+inchmeri one but idk how that would manifest. The leshian itself that first becomes yellow could become physically balanced or something. As could Unsaw.
"Clockwise" should be resolved for time-skippy scenes and the king meet/etc should have a reference somewhere (there are circles present) if something is axjacent.
When Ryden talks about making everyone a brother/sister use the word sprout to plant an additional red herring
