Use "sprig" more frequently, particularly around Vastwood and the POVs that come from there. Apparently a sprig *is* part of a tree.
Also while I'm on the subject, these queen/king areas should be named. Kingsroom I think I used at one point. The table too.
Similarly, mentioning the rust growing on both ash trees and the Sanguineum isn't a terrible idea. Vague early mentions on any area relevant to the AX plotline would be ideal.
How did Philipp and Fidela get to Rainshade? Did they climb there? Did Nonaxe rescue them? There are hooks for both.
If Fidela had chiefed both the Spriggan Ash and Fae Ash, she must've been intimately connected to Bodhmall and the queens' revolt. I know Philipp was too. Fifi does need more work.
There's an interesting coincidence of "lone" appearing near mentions of roots. Reinforce this so it's true for *all* uses of both words, and be egregious here before the "source ygg's lone root" is actually mentioned. "Satellite" is the next instance on the "lone" side of things, and there are a few that need me to look up idioms, definitions or (amusingly) use "route" again.
More reminders that Zoelle teases Cuyler, particularly right before Cuyler's strong moment.
All mentions of the seven siblings by the other members should be in the order given in the ending. This includes Nonaxe telling Ryden stuff and Kawan telling Sutap/Ellis stuff.
The revelation that the source Ygg is worth believing in comes from both Q and R so it should affect Q more than it is (maybe around her message)
Winifred's other meals should foreshadow upcoming events somehow. The chimera one already does. Her eating mushrooms (before the Puccinia naming) makes a twisted amount of sense. And then honeyed sprouts at the end. Great big ones, maybe! Or balanced in some subtle way. Maybe even an exact nine.
I feel like the Barrett/Qadira prose mirror needs to be stronger in a similar to the Qadira/Kawan one, or the two Nonaxe/Unsaw ones.
How does Barrett know the stuff that happened at the Ashcroft house is Fae magic? If there's no good explanation for that, have Lionel point it out because of the green color. Or mention it earlier in Barrett's vignettes -- should be plenty of hooks for that.
Valeska should use the word "geranium" instead of "red" in close proximity to a mention of the sanguineum. And a fungus reference.
I feel like there should be a mention of "ashen" *somewhere* too, near a fungus reference.
Hard to do with no search functionality, but "gryphtrix" for female gryphters is hilarious. Needs to change the ones in BYF (-xes plural) and also the Rosamund references.
Finally something that made sense" might be a plot hole now because of the Francis edit.
When Thelma announces her plans, wouldn't the other cooks also be loose ends for George? Pulling him out of earshot of all but George might work. But then.. why would she need to? Should be reasonably fixable at least.
When characters are confused, say that it feels like they're missing half the story, or something like that. Only when magic is explicitly leading to the confusion though.
De-emphasize the need for violence in Francis's last vignette, and since Bodhmall committed it, lean *more* in that direction with the last Yusrah before F dies. Obviously I don't want her to be *too* close to it, but be more permissable.
Look up cow/snake idioms and use them after ophiotaurs are introduced so they get tied in more with stuff. Same deal with glowbees to a lesser extent (busy as a glowbee for example); they do already play a major role.
Valeska and leshians both come from Slavic origins. See if there's more I can do here with slavic mythology. They're kinda on opposite ends of this world's spectrum, to be fair. Zirnitra, Lisovyk, Veles (has an underworld and an ophiotaur connection).
Is the plural "Faein" or "Faeins"? Pretty sure it's "Faeins", so this is just a discrepancy. Unless that particular character (Valeska?) uses it differently.
The foreboding in 25-N makes sense but it should be glued in more -- she has a similar feeling before meeting Inhatcheta, and one near the end when she instructs Philipp on Ashcairns (that one's handled poorly too). And maybe I should tie it in with her dream too (like refer to the dream I mean, not edit it) -- it has kinda come to pass after all.
Plant several red herrings around "gray ax" so it's less obvious. Maybe AX sees something gray, or there's something adjacent to Unsaw or even another POV entirely. Something in 24 past 24-N, though, obviously.
Make sure Ryden figured out that he was melded with Qadira.
Obviously, 25-C is important, but Ryden announces his faith to the source Ygg out of nowhere. There should be more buildup to it (also isn't he pretending to be Spriggan-sent?)
Wouldnt Zoelle suspect a trap from Qadira? And Ryden? They're making her leave her city and getting the miners to dig out a tunnel. This is *literally* a trap laid down under cover of peaceful compromise. This looks like it'll have a fix in the siblings project.
Obviously, Zoelle and Cuyler need to know that they'll be trading gryphons with Sutap and Ellis. I don't remember if Ryden said that or not.
Naggirps' thought on Valeska barrier (and her magic barrier) is wrong.
When I have a book #2 post, make a note that Spriggans always float.
If Naggirps doesn't explore all seven branches again, then change it to "they *could* explore them again', not "they would'.
The thick trunk that was like no other place she knew -- well besides the Ash Grove of course.
In the Nonaxe life-tree vignettes, say that each set of seven is sprouting from the trunk.
Look into making uses of the word "sprout" either subtle foreshadowing or dropping it.
References to "ten" or "ten*" words (like tense, tender, tenacity, tendril) near references of tearsuns or inswellians. Possibly cyclore-maws as well.
Reinforce chimera descriptions with that of tzitzimeh. The eyes already work well. Maybe some myth references in Sutap's recollection of cyclore-maws.
Yaldaboth/sophia is another interesting thing to play around with around the chimera/AX. Chimeras have lion/snake aspects too (and Ryden even mentions the hybrid here), and the chapter right after it forms is named "wisdom". Don't forget Lord Sophus either -- I could reinforce the connection in the vignettes where he's present.
Philipp's Diviciacus mention isn't working, and I don't think I need it either. Make sure. One of the Ash Grove fixes (Cuyler or Jadzia description) should serve the purpose of foreshadowing it more.
Needs research, but "sprig" is also a metallurgical term so it could be good foreshadowing or just flavor.
