Use "sprig" more frequently, particularly around Vastwood and the POVs that come from there. Apparently a sprig *is* part of a tree.
Similarly, mentioning the rust growing on both ash trees and the Sanguineum isn't a terrible idea. Vague early mentions on any area relevant to the AX plotline would be ideal.
There's an interesting coincidence of "lone" appearing near mentions of roots. Reinforce this so it's true for *all* uses of both words, and be egregious here before the "source ygg's lone root" is actually mentioned. "Satellite" is the next instance on the "lone" side of things, and there are a few that need me to look up idioms, definitions or (amusingly) use "route" again.
All mentions of the seven siblings by the other members should be in the order given in the ending. This includes Nonaxe telling Ryden stuff and Kawan telling Sutap/Ellis stuff.
Winifred's other meals should foreshadow upcoming events somehow. The chimera one already does. Her eating mushrooms (before the Puccinia naming) makes a twisted amount of sense. And then honeyed sprouts (shoots) at the end. Great big ones, maybe! Or balanced in some subtle way. Maybe even an exact nine. I like the idea of it foreshadowing MOAB instead -- M and O are *literally* sprouts (shoots) in honey. Not sure what to do with the soup -- phloem actually works unreasonably well because of all the references there. Could do merachnids to represent water and chareed bits to represent fire or whatever.
Valeska should use the word "geranium" instead of "red" in close proximity to a mention of the sanguineum. And a fungus reference.
I feel like there should be a mention of "ashen" *somewhere* too, near a fungus reference.
When characters are confused, say that it feels like they're missing half the story, or something like that. Only when magic is explicitly leading to the confusion though.
Look up cow/snake idioms and use them after ophiotaurs are introduced so they get tied in more with stuff. Same deal with glowbees to a lesser extent (busy as a glowbee for example); they do already play a major role.
Valeska and leshians both come from Slavic origins. See if there's more I can do here with slavic mythology. They're kinda on opposite ends of this world's spectrum, to be fair. Zirnitra, Lisovyk, Veles (has an underworld and an ophiotaur connection).
References to "ten" or "ten*" words (like tense, tender, tenacity, tendril) near references of tearsuns or inswellians. Possibly cyclore-maws as well.
Reinforce chimera descriptions with that of tzitzimeh. The eyes already work well. Maybe some myth references in Sutap's recollection of cyclore-maws.
Yaldaboth/sophia is another interesting thing to play around with around the chimera/AX. Chimeras have lion/snake aspects too (and Ryden even mentions the hybrid here), and the chapter right after it forms is named "wisdom". Don't forget Lord Sophus either -- I could reinforce the connection in the vignettes where he's present. Could also use the word "urge" in close proximity to something with "demi" inside of it.
Needs research, but "sprig" is also a metallurgical term so it could be good foreshadowing or just flavor.
The darkness chapter uses thirty-seven twice, and this could be a reference to the 37 rivers of hvergelmir, which does have connections to helheim. Some subtle reference to rivers in both one of U's vignettes and one of F's would work (that's the same way I'm handling Melia after all). "Current" perhaps, or just do wiki into rivers and write down anything with multiple meanings
"Great Eagle" is unintentionally a Tolkien reference, so make it an intentional one.
Similarly, "red rider" is unintentionally a war horseman of the apocalypse reference, so reinforce things here in places where this word appears (the new AX is a particularly good target because of axis motivations).
"Axis" is very obviously a WW2 reference too, so do more here. Can *literally* use the phrase "world war" (or close) in AX's vignettes. Maybe "the entire world would rotate to serve axis war" instead of "the entire world would be axis". Also, there are both three axis powers and three minds melded in AX.
I should make some "bud" puns. "Buddy" is hilarious. Look for things like "potential" (and thesaurus words I know I'm using)
Something in the Qadiryden area should use the word "parallax", since it's literally the first and second eyes bonding. Subtle would be better, but there's plenty of opportunities otherwise since this is metaphorically happening too. Look up the word's definitions.
"Kawan tied the last knot" -- perfect opportunity to hint at the sprawling tree of the story itself.
I also like the idea of comparing AX's spread to one. And Xever'a gryphons to a lesser extent. Everything is a tree indeed.
More foreshadowing of the main plotline, *particularly* the messages aspect of it. And AX too I suppose. Inhatcheta has one now but I optimally need more so it's smoother.
AX ate all the plotlines like a vine. I should make some reference to this somewhere.
Some kind of tongue-in-cheek reference to the rush song would be great. A chapter with NIU makes the most sense, and some line about equality or whatever. And a rush of thoughts or something. Or just using that word in N, I and U.
If the ashes turn yellow in 26-Q, then I should make a reference to yellow ash trees (bonewoods). Actually this works better in Valeska's POV because she's in the crypts of Faeheim.
I think there should actually be some reference to Ryden's father during the first swell sequence. Very very subtle, and important to book #2. Looks like the best seed are Ryden's twin knives, which were held in hands of opposing blood at the peak of the swell -- I need a subtle reference when he pulls these out later, and/or during his "my family believes in myths but I don't" sequence, and then some mention of them during the ending too. Zoelle is already giving a very subtle clue here with "reach back into that swell you shared with Jadzia". He had the knives on him while fighting the first chimera, so they may have ended up with Qadira and Thelma, or BYSELF. Maybe both! It ending up on Francis's men makes the most sense actually because of the three three three and the Hayden nine-knife thing. Francis' men finding the knives inside all the trade goods makes that plotline relevant later on. Also, Qadira interacts with Rosamund at some point and should pass her version of the knives on after they fall out of the first chimera encounter. And Yusrah should pick up the one Frankie *didn't* stab into Aetos. And Rosamund should stab one into Unsaw too. This conveniently creates a "frau" word. I think getting the knives to interact with both sides of a Spriggan is important here (just like the JR/tree that happens very early on). Also, weird spatiality stuff clones the knife in Aetos in Vastwood, and morrigan in book #2 clones Rosamund's knives, bringing the total up to nine knives, which either has something to do with the nine realms or the nine barriers between the six worlds (does that work?). There's ten barriers, but nine knives for ten barriers sure does work well because of the 90 thing (and tons of other references to 10). Also the knives should be referred to as hrönir at some point. Incidentally, the phrase "nine or ten" is an excellent way of pairing the two in a 90 reference. Also ten by itself is perfectly okay, because there are ten barriers between the worlds. Pairing standalone "ten"s with the word "gate" would be nice.
Having a Rosamund vignette at the end of 26 makes a certain amount of sense because of the cutting of life-trees. Definitely kicks off book #2 too. Also this will have something to do with the hrönir she buried in Unsaw, so a late fix. Also the fleuron here would be different (it already is because of the double chapter, but different from 28 too). Could do something subtle like "the life of the freeman ended" so life-tree is technically present in the vignette (it doesn't have to be in all of 26 but it would be neat if it was). Additionally, should make it more clear that Naggirps is breaking the barrier between life trees too. It's a bit glossed over. I no longer like this idea, but there's other stuff in the note now.
Make sure I'm using Valeska's (and likely Xever's) words accurately
I really like the coincidence that the life-tree chapter is 26 and there's all these references to the number throughout. Maybe Valeska could be one too -- K has a reference to her (though I think that section is getting redone). It's also the gematric number! I can also do some reference to it in the Ferritinium -- it's the element number for iron. Theres also 26 sporadic groups, I'm sure I can find a reference to add there.
Color significance like the rest of my books. I'm doing a lot already. Should be straightened out now.
"The same thing" appears to be arc words, particularly when emphasized. Figure out what this means and cut all other uses of the phrase. The new 27-S seems to have found it.
"Right back" is arc words too. J in the climax and the Spriggan stuff around Zoelle are the main references. Right back is actually a 90 degree turn if you think about directions. The Zoelle ones don't fit into this.
Make sure there are in fact 16 life-branches implicated in AX (Winifred and Yusrah are also involved because of the Orlovs if nothing else). Needs to be done after all major revisions. Doing a full echo of the climax poetry line for Ellis would be neat too.
A final word count of 121680 is equal to 26*90*52, basically all three things that are important in the story (the life-tree, AX and yellow fire). I'm trending on the high side of 125k though and that'll likely go up with pacing and description edits. Also this would be the kind of thing I'd need to work on during (or after) the fourth draft. If it turns out this simply isn't possible, then making it a multiple of 26*90 would probably be easier, or just 26. 126901 would be pretty cool. Also currently trending close to 126090.
Find the "gates" and "ten" note and change it to "connection" or "connected" instead. Better foreshadowing and easier to use too
Interestingly, there's a 52 aspect with the morrigan too (the 26 sons and 26 daughters). Make a note in the book #2 thread to keep this in mind. I'm also thinking that Rosamund is descended from her, and Melia+morrigan=Pholus, which explains a lot of the lore around fae not taking bonds of love / the whole hangup with Zoelle. That would make Zoelle's descendents derived from her, Cuyler and morrigan simultaneously, which just makes way too much sense. And Pholus being related to the morrigan explains a lot of what that fae's line is capable of.
By sheer coincidence, Jadzia's opening is 26 words. I do like the idea of making every POV like that. B and H are close. Kawan is 26 too. Neat. Maybe just maintaining J and K and then doing something with the number 90 when AX forms. Or doing 26 words whenever something substantial happens with the structure -- J jumping back to first, Nonaxe / Zoelle moving, the middle vignette of the life-tree chapter, Olivia being ing Aety back. Look at Ellis and Deema
Number significance. Not just the obvious ones like 26/13/7/52/90.
Eshu is a great renaming of Ellis -- has the trickster aspect of it *and* foreshadows his connection with the source Ygg at the end. Also colors that are red and black -- the first one fits perfectly with his heritage. Hats, clothing, skin color, etc should match in Valeska's description.
Going Yoruba for Jadzia makes more sense than anything else. Jafojo works, need to keep looking in the giant database though.
And add in some Yoruba mythology somewhere to even things out.
I'd rather go Slavic mythology for Ellis and possibly Jadzia too -- this is the optimal way of reinforcing leshians and Valeska.
